THE SACRAMENT OF MATRIMONY
"Love is willing the good of the other." - St. Thomas Aquinas
Congratulations on your engagement! We love offering weddings here at St. Michael and being the place where you begin your life together as husband and wife.
But we aren't just a pretty place to have your wedding Mass - we also want to support you in your marriage. We are here to offer guidance not just in having a beautiful wedding day, but also having a beautiful marriage.
Feeling overwhelmed by all of the details associated with a wedding? Celebrating your marriage in a church setting must be approached with prayerful planning, and we look forward to assisting you in that process!
Please note: Being such a large and vibrant parish, requests for use of the church and our facilities is in high demand. Because of this, in order to request a wedding or sacramental marriage preparation at St. Michael, the couple must either be established registered members of the church or live within the territory of the church. If you are not a member of St. Michael and live outside of the territory of St. Michael the Archangel Church, you are welcome to request a wedding date here if you have local family currently affiliated with our parish.
WEDDING PREPARATION CHECKLIST
The first step in planning your marriage preparation at St. Michael begins with completing the St. Michael the Archangel Catholic Church Wedding Initial Eligibility Form and submitting it to mdisano@stmcary.org.
Please review the St. Michael Wedding Information Booklet for important information regarding policies and procedures for weddings at St. Michael.
After reviewing the booklet and submitting the eligibility form, please contact Mary DiSano, Associate Director of Adult Sacraments (mdisano@stmcary.org or 919-468-6134) to determine marriage eligibility, reserve the church, and begin the required marriage paperwork.
How do we solve disagreements? Should we discuss children and finances? How can we center our relationship in Christ? What is married life even like?
Much planning goes into the wedding day, but this is just the first of many days as a married couple! And while there's tons of sites dedicated to helping you plan your wedding, we want to help you plan your marriage.
As this is a serious vocation, there are several steps involved in marriage preparation:
PRIEST MEETING
After scheduling your wedding date, you will meet with a member of our clergy to complete the Prenuptial Investigation (Form A) interview. This interview is required by the Church to ensure that the marriage will be valid.
DIOCESAN MARRIAGE PREPARATION WORSHOP
All couples must attend a One-Day Marriage Preparation Workshop sponsored by the Diocese of Raleigh. This is a marriage requirement of the Diocese of Raleigh. Visit the Diocesan of Raleigh website for information on marriage preparation program dates and locations. This should be completed 4-6 months in advance of your wedding.
FULLY ENGAGED
The Diocese of Raleigh has partnered with a pre-marital inventory assessment called Fully Engaged. The couple will receive a link to bride and groom emails directly from Fully Engaged. The couple will complete the inventory questionnaire separately which includes 150 questions.
Once completed the couple will receive workbooks that will be used during the mentor couple sessions. The results will be sent to the parish Marriage Preparation Office. Each couple will be assigned a mentor couple who will reach out to the preparing couple to arrange 2- 3 sessions (each with a duration of 1 and ½ hours). Evaluations of the sessions will be held in strict confidence and shared only with the priest or deacon who is the officiant.
These sessions are designed to foster deeper discussions on important topics and components of married life with a mentor couple who are trained and has lived a committed sacramental marriage. It's a great opportunity to ask your questions and learn about your vocation. The preparing couples will bring their Fully Engaged workbooks to each session with the mentor couples. The results of this study are used primarily as a counseling tool.
BAPTISMAL CERTIFICATE
Brides and/or Grooms who are Catholic must provide a recently issued baptismal certificate (dated within 6 months). Your Church of Baptism must issue these certificates. Usually you can request these certificates by phone. Bride and/or Groom of other Faiths are asked to provide a copy of their original baptismal records (this copy does not have to be certified).
TESTIMONIAL LETTER REGARDING FREEDOM TO MARRY
This document is required by the Diocese of Raleigh. Both the bride and groom are asked to provide two witnesses who can testify to their freedom to enter into marriage. These documents are to be notarized and turned into the Marriage Preparation Office at the parish at the time of preparation.
PRIOR MARRIAGE DOCUMENTATION
If either party has been previously married (Catholic or not, civilly or in a church), the necessary documents must be obtained to determine his/her freedom to marry in the Catholic Church. This matter must be discussed before a church reservation may be made. For assistance, please contact us or the Diocese of Raleigh Tribunal Office to discuss.
The priests and deacons of St. Michael Church rejoice with you as you begin your marriage preparations and are happy to preside at your wedding. Your Officiant will want to meet with you prior to your wedding day, and this can be arranged through the Marriage Preparation Office.
Once your wedding date is secure, contact the parish Director of Music & Liturgy, Alex E. Hill, at 919-468-6107 or e-mail ahill@stmcary.org to arrange a meeting. Alex will assist you in selecting appropriate music for your wedding, and can provide information about the fee schedule for the organist, cantors/soloists, and/or additional instrumentalists. Music fees are paid at the time of meeting.
You will select your wedding scripture readings from the For Your Marriage website. Your selections should be given to the Marriage Preparation Office and your presider at least 2 weeks prior to your wedding
You must obtain a Marriage License Application from the Wake County Register of Deeds, no more than 60 days before your wedding. For information: http://wakegov.com/rod or call 919.856.5490 (both the bride and groom are required to be present together at the ROD office). You must bring your marriage license on the day of the wedding rehearsal and give it to the Priest or Deacon. The Priest or Deacon must have your wedding license before the wedding can take place.
Provide Wedding Day Information form to Marriage Office for rehearsal/ceremony.
We know that can seem very overwhelming, but don't worry - we're here to walk you through the process every step of the way.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
HOW FAR IN ADVANCE SHOULD I PLAN MY WEDDING?
The marriage preparation process takes a minimum of six months, so we advise beginning the eligibility form at least nine months in advance of your desired wedding date.
WHAT DAYS AND TIMES ARE WEDDINGS OFFERED?
Marriage Liturgies are celebrated at St. Michael the Archangel on Saturdays at 11:00 am and 1:00 pm. They are not scheduled on Saturday evenings, Sunday, or Holy Days.
Rehearsals are scheduled the afternoon or evening before your wedding day. Your rehearsal will normally take 45 minutes and can be scheduled 4-5 months prior to your wedding date.
DO I NEED TO BE A PARISHIONER OF ST. MICHAEL TO BE MARRIED THERE?
To request a wedding or marriage preparation at St. Michael, you or your family must either be registered members of the church or live within the territory of the church.
If you are not a member of St. Michael and live outside of the territory, you are still welcome to request a wedding date here. In this case, the church where you are a registered member or the church closest to your residence should assist you with preparation and the required paperwork.
Please note: If the bride or groom are registered members of another Catholic church, a Pastor Permission Letter should be requested from the pastor of the bride or groom in order for the wedding to take place at St. Michael.
I/MY FIANCE IS NOT CATHOLIC. CAN WE STILL GET MARRIED IN THE CHURCH?
Most likely, but please contact us for more information, as the procedures vary depending on you/your fiance's baptismal status and religion.
I/MY FIANCE HAVE BEEN MARRIED BEFORE. CAN WE STILL GET MARRIED IN THE CHURCH?
This will depend on the history and status of the previous marriage. Please contact us for more information.
HOW MUCH DOES IT COST TO HAVE A WEDDING AT ST. MICHAEL?
Please review our wedding costs sheet for more information.
CAN WE HAVE A VISITING PRIEST PRESIDE AT OUR WEDDING?
We welcome priests or deacons from outside St. Michael the Archangel Church to officiate at your wedding. The visiting priest or deacon must be approved by the Pastor and will be expected to follow all the policies of St. Michael. When the officiating priest or deacon is from outside the Diocese of Raleigh, he must submit a letter of suitability from his bishop or superior from his archdiocese or diocese. The letter of suitability shall affirm that the priest is in good standing with full faculties. Once necessary documentation is submitted by the officiating priest for validity, delegation will be given by St. Michael pastor.
CAN I HAVE A PHOTOGRAPHER/VIDEOGRAPHER?
Yes! We know how important it is to capture this special moment. We do ask that photographers and videographers adhere to certain rules; please review the wedding guide for more details.
WILL ANYONE FROM THE CHURCH BE ABLE TO HELP THE DAY OF OUR WEDDING?
Our Wedding Ministry Committee members are an essential part of your rehearsal and wedding day. Committee members are volunteers who generously give their time to assist the presider and the couple at the rehearsal and on the wedding day to ensure that everything runs smoothly. There is no fee for their services. Members do their best to have someone at your rehearsal and wedding but, occasionally, there might not be anyone available
Additionally, some brides prefer to dress at home, but for those brides who wish to dress at the Church, we do have a bride’s room for your use. This room is to be used for dressing only, no hair/makeup stylists permitted. Please be sure to remove all personal items and return the room to its original condition for the next bride. No food or alcohol is allowed in the bride’s room. The groom and groomsmen should arrive at the Church in full attire. There is no designated place in the Church for the groom and groomsmen to get dressed.
I HAVE MORE QUESTIONS.
No problem! First, review our wedding guide, and then contact us with any questions. We're happy to help walk you through this process!
Have more questions? Ready to get started?